f e n

2011-02-07T21:31:00.000-08:00

winter
is the time for grizzly bear,
thus I intend to master every song.

it's a chinese new year resolution of mine

2010-11-17T16:57:00.000-08:00

the incessant chill in my house
is deafening . its poison engulfs my thoughts
accumulating in the back of my mind
collecting like dust in the cracks
it erodes my soul

I stand in a treeless field with no path
no compass.
only the brown grass,
bending under the weight of the still falling snow,
filling my tracks as I wander

the pallor of the landscape
a soundless, majestic dessert.
the colourless sky,
indiscernible from the country,
has lost her horizon in grey

the whole dome of heaven
is one winter cloud
shrouding the sun,
detaching her warmth
the hour is late
my fingers grow numb
I feel my heart slow
I feel my thoughts slow
I sink into snow

etcetera

2010-10-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

I am ancient
too late to claim my life,
too old to change

Who can bend
with the river's every move?

A rod and a staff.
How I crave the solace
A quiet life to live + serve well.
far from the murmur
the wagging eyes , the shuffling bodies
Where in the wide
can I go and not be seen?
Evaporate from my nation
my contorted tribe
My stolen life
forced into the grooves
of a collective dream
the vapid gleam
of a society given to bondage

Indeed, I am a citizen
of the valley devoid,
the city of the swelling
of the resonance of noise
at the clamor of imprudence,
my heart grows sick
the chatter of monkeys
withers my ears
where can I seek the wise,
who can I entrust myself to?
to whom can I devote my time,
where shall I invest my thoughts?

is there not one man left
not even one
Who knows yet,
the fear of the Lord

hm mm m the sun feels so good.

2010-10-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

trace a passage

to the north

following the currents

of a gently

soughing earth

2010-09-14T19:03:00.000-07:00

2010-09-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

this was written by hannah minick, I take no credit

-also I recommend you read the lyrics (and other lovely thoughts,)

here.

just strumming along,
thinking aloud in a way I often do, so..
not too serious, but its a wonderful poem:

Tomorrow + Tomorrow

(click the link above to listen and download)

2010-08-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

today, playing covers of
Cotton Jones + Beach House
in the basement.

{Gotta Cheer Up}

-one of my favourite songs of all time

viewpoint

2010-08-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

2010-08-30T16:16:00.000-07:00

looks like.

soft, feathery split-ends. so thin she becomes transparent and almost spectral

-I like old ladies with long hair like this

2010-08-16T07:40:00.000-07:00

something about this picture strikes me as odd,

but I cant quite figure what it is

Pure and Lovely

2010-07-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

this is song number two on the piano,

its not actually called pure + lovely,

-it stemmed from another song I was writing and I just

needed the first line to help me remember the melody.

its just a thought,

not complete, doesnt fit with the other song either,

but if I was with you we'd probably be sitting in your livingroom or mine

talking and playing around on the piano so,

if this is the closest we can come..

feel free to click the orange link below and download

{pure + lovely}

pure and lovely

wholly let me

fall to love, oh God.

I love you like the little bird

2010-07-23T01:04:00.000-07:00

Ive made up my mind

this is the time to relegate

no need to remind,

scans are unkind a lot of times

but Ive tried

Ive tried to write

what was in my head,

what was in my head

sometimes I feel

I feel so obsolete

because the kids want a faster beat

and if I was free, free to leave

but its my kids,

they need to eat..

I love you its true,

I love you like the little bird. (-click to listen)

no need to remind

life is unkind a lot of times

but its my kids, they need to eat

---------------------------

from: Ghosts of the Past.

{Starflyer 59.}

snow pirates and bicycles?

2010-04-16T00:21:00.000-07:00

A song for Terence To.

who rides his bicycle to school in the cold toronto winters.

{click to download}

--
in the wake
of toronto's soul
Im sailing on the northern wave
in the peace
of an empty street
Im drifting over sun + space

early light
turns the white
snow pink Im
promised to the rolling waves
frothy foam
on a garden gnome
like brine
is stinging at my face

----------
I ride my bike
in the tiretracks of the cars
wind fills my sail,
with my eyes stung closed I
cant see where
we are.
---------

Im the captain,
the castaway,
I navigate suburban bays
in the peace
of an empty street
Im drifting over frozen waves

Biking in the snow
is a dangerous pastime
gripping at my throat
like an ancient pirate
fingers made of ice
caught me by surprise
Im never coming home.

{let the wind carry me home}--

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

2010-04-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

My Dad used to listen to scripture memory tapes, and I thought it was the most annoying thing in the world. But the other day I realized I STILL remember those songs,

so hey, if it works...

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

{click here}

Morellas Forest.

2010-03-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

Back in 1992
my destiny was stolen from me.
stolen quickly and painlessly
while I was still young and naive

Morella's Forest

From the corridors of Dayton Ohio,

emerged a space-age, garage-pop

shoegazing, noise pop band

who unknowingly happened upon the greatest band name in the world.

Morella,

is a great name by the way.

topographic name for someone who lived where brambles grew,
from Old Sicilian morella, Sicilian mureddha ‘blackberry’.
Morellas is also found as a Greek family name.
I will never forgive myself for being born too late to claim this name as my own.
alas, it is lost. it evades me like fog to the touch, lost like a gold coin in the ocean !
boo hoo.

What I love about Kerry Wade.

2010-02-23T03:33:00.000-08:00

listen and download:

Shes so Sci Fi

SHES SO SCI FI

where is she now, in time

and which dimension?

has she rejoined the Hong Kong Cavaliers

[in the future]

we know its bright, and gold

kerry has told me so

shes like a light

alone in time

shes a little sci fi dear,

its in her veins

she rides with johnny on the monorail

to future earth,

to outer space

where is she now, in time

and which dimension?

has she become

a bounty hunter cold

[in the future]

+ where you are

is where you go

as banzai told her so,

out on the edge

of space and time alone

and its no surprise she gets underrated...

always somewhere else.

shes a little sci fi dear

its in her veins

she rides with johnny on the mono

fading into deep deep space,

a different place.

flora/fauna

2010-02-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

Housekeeping. I am, as of now, going through the old songs and trying to be diligent about tightening up loose ends.. -also finishing a good number of the songs that I recorded as skeletons. This proves to be........... a lot harder than I thought it would be. Why is it so much easier to record something the day you write it?

attempt no. 1

a revised flora/fauna.

When I started recording, way back when..

the comment I got most often was that the guitar is too loud so we cant hear the words. I managed to move out of that phase for a while but I think Im back in it again. I dunno.. when I stop paying attention, it eventually lends itself to shoegaze, and honestly I just cant get enough of that.

-not to say that Im particularly pleased with the wall of sound present in the second half of this song... I definitely envisioned it differently,

-but I could easily say the same of every song Ive ever tried recording.

note to self: how did I end up with more loose ends than when I started?

I Never Learned Piano

2010-02-10T08:44:00.000-08:00

I have a brother named Jared, and he is a few years younger than me.

But it doesnt matter how old he is, he excels at everything he puts his hand to

When we were kids, he would try to do anything that I did, and he could always do it faster or better than I could.

Once when I was ten I started learning piano from my mom. As soon as I started, Jared decided he wanted to start, and he played much better than I did.. so I gave up and never looked back.

when I stopped, Jared never learned any more either, ha ha

and that is my sad tale about why I never learned to play the piano

this is much experimentation + time wasted at the keyboard:

The Glory Of {click to download}

-Megan

Fleeting Bird

2010-02-09T07:51:00.000-08:00

what is a fleeting bird?

I meant for this song to be something of a riddle, but I never had too many people venture guesses at what it meant... actually I dont think I had anyone venture guesses.

When I wrote this song, almost immediately there were two versions

I still dont know how that happened or which came first,

was I dreaming when I wrote this? do I have multiple personalities?

no. I just have seriously embarrassing memory problems.

------------------------------------

the version most people voted for has been deemed

Version A [-for obvious reasons.]

to me it sounds like a younger time, like you were just figuring out what fleeting bird even meant, and now you are about to go out into the world.

Version A {download me}

Version B, I much preferred..

but it didnt receive any good feedback so I took it off purevolume to save space for so many new projects.

It sounds like looking back.. like someone much closer to death, having lost a lot of opportunities already and considering the last few before the hourglass is empty, you know?

Version B {download me}

-Megan

Greetings.

2010-02-09T07:35:00.000-08:00

in the beginning the world was a . ..

alright. so its been a long time.. lots of music has been posted to purevolume and that has been really great ! but Ive decided to try a blog for music,

a. because then I actually have room to talk about the stuff Im posting and get feedback

b. because I have too much time on my hands.

essentially I am a professional time waster.

-but enough about that

music is coming, and thats all that matters.

I plan on figuring this thing out a . s . a . p . and then the magic begins.

-Miss Feniak

{do you have any ideas?}

2009-10-13T01:20:00.000-07:00

we are just scraping the surface, basically..

-of understanding

elocution

2009-10-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

if the entire world

is a symphony,

I am its listener.

If I am its listener,

the world is my mask

for I open my mouth and I am the raging sound of Babel.

Three Months in Bed

2009-05-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

I wake up
miraculously whole
head still full of this dream, eyes shot smoky red
mouth still full of ash
and i crawl away from my thoughts
-leave them there

I stumble away
clumsy me
with my feet in the same worn places
Ive been putting them all year
-fingerprints for a wasted life
where does it go
where did i go?
I just keep waking up
and wondering how i got here
here under the window, cold and wet
wandering from one end of the room
to the other and back
is like crossing black oceans in this mind
pacing the pacific
it just goes on forever,
racing time
and my question
into the horizon where i might let it stay for a while
leave it there, stumble back into these footsteps
someone whispers in my ear
friend or foe?
is still unclear
but smoke pours through my windows
and i wake up suffocating,
cant remember if the smoke poured
in or out of this blazing room
damsel red
to september pumpkins
everything is still
I wake up in a beam of gold
I wake up
miraculously whole
head still full of this dream
eyes shot smoke red
mouth still full of ash
and i crawl away from my thoughts
-------------------------------------------------
Thursday, December 13 'o7

"what are your thoughts"

2009-03-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

hannah, I stole a line of yours. eye for an eye, I always say.

2009-03-23T09:16:00.000-07:00

Dream in Black&Blue/Fish Day fusion

2009-03-04T05:27:00.000-08:00

2 Peter 3:13

2009-03-04T05:11:00.000-08:00

not finished*

2009-02-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

need some inspirational ideas for this, someone help me out.

fished out of the garbage and repainted (thankyou mr. weeden. for not letting me throw this away.)

2009-02-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

earlier in the year

2009-02-20T10:59:00.000-08:00

of the dreams series,

Roger Dean,

2009-02-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

this is not what it really looks like.

2008-12-02T20:21:00.000-08:00

old things i found in sketchbooks, belonging to stories and paintings. number two:

2008-11-03T18:22:00.000-08:00

Jack.

if there is a middle

of nowhere,

knee-high indigo grass ripples there around the body of a boy

bent and perplexed in the face.

and one gloomy tree leans over

casts shadows over

sketches patters over

his gray complexion.

the grass shivers in a ravenous wind

stealing the red leaves from over his head

and throwing them into the

white sky

imagining the earth turns over in its sleep,

disturbed maybe

little worms crawl away

and the beetles seek refuge in his straight black hair

fish swim away in his fool green eyes

a top hat sits on his chest

and his fingers drum abstractedly on its aged brim

slowly and softly decomposing

holes to china

2008-10-26T14:45:00.001-07:00

I hate this story and the way it's so full of one name..

one long rabbit-trail I have been stuck in my entire life

growing pains

2008-10-26T14:33:00.000-07:00

welcome to the future

all your friends have grown and gone,

time to get some taste

time to spend some cash, time to make a name

time to get a job and ride the train

time to love the things you hate

welcome to the future

this is all too strange to be real, too

real to be strange

and I fall asleep again and again

but I never wake up from this

I dream about time machines and ladders

that could stretch to you,

stretch far enough that I could get my life back.

When I wake up I'll find it, I know I will. Everything will be

just like it used to be,

when we were young and life was okay

we were okay.

June '08

you and I

2008-09-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

these are our trees, hannah.

dream in early spring '08

2008-09-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

pity isnt fun for anyone.

2008-09-01T23:34:00.000-07:00

hello old new friend,
lets pretend.
you can be normal, and I'll be the wallpaper and
-oh i thought we were just pretending
lets keep bending
or i will at least,
bending my personality
to fit comfortably into
whatever
september
lets count count down
and talk about school.
TV shows and
how it goes when
the weather changes like us
like you became all grown up
and i just keep shrinking on the inside
and expanding on the outside
and everything rattles inside the shell
thats so much bigger than i need,
for such a small slice of personality.
doctor can you show me how to
stop being,
for a few hours here and there
so I could stay out of the way,
its just a nowhere
that i could go,
when my birthday comes,
I dont want them to know.

--

2008-08-27T14:41:00.000-07:00

left: Colossians 2:2
right: Colossians 1:13

shell

2008-08-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

the most interesting part of my life right now..

rabbit trails

2008-08-25T23:54:00.000-07:00

Every day is a new way to chase rabbit trails
New places to sleep so the old ones
Don’t remember me.
I can be clever,
Pull the wool over my own eyes
[there’s two of them]
Us. Two of us.
Like I can dinner dish her all my blame
Keep this one clean,
Keep this one sane.
But I’m quickly running out of hiding places,
She’s catching up like a rolling wave.
And no matter how many hours
I white-wash these walls,
Like clockwork I wake up to a newly painted room
In whatever colour she happens to choose.
I’m tired of tripping on
Falsehoods of free
So give me an excuse and a weapon to wield
Rage against the Villain in me.

4/29/2008

I'll find something better to put here,

2008-08-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

--

2008-08-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

click tap tap
wake up, what's that?
oh self, why are we in this blinding place?
in this blinding room with our chest so sore
and our organs heaving themselves at the
patterns of yellow and gray on the floor.
come, collect yourself, to bed
i drag the body back to her room
and prop her up where she might see the window
a glimpse at the moon
so gently, now
whats all this,
with your skin too tight and
your aching ribs?
you can tell me, self, if you know.
but she doesnt think, so she doesnt know, and
i cant make her be where i cant think to go
so i crawl back to sleep, and I cringe when she moans
and I'll never wake up from this

isnt this how everything starts

2008-07-31T08:29:00.000-07:00

i cant really imagine myself writing on here frequently.

f e n

hm mm m the sun feels so good.

viewpoint

Pure and Lovely

I love you like the little bird

snow pirates and bicycles?

Biking in the snowis a dangerous pastimegripping at my throatlike an ancient piratefingers made of icecaught me by surpriseIm never coming home.{let the wind carry me home}--

1 Thessalonians 5:14-18

Morellas Forest.

What I love about Kerry Wade.

flora/fauna

I Never Learned Piano

Fleeting Bird

Greetings.

{do you have any ideas?}

elocution

Three Months in Bed

"what are your thoughts"

hannah, I stole a line of yours. eye for an eye, I always say.

Dream in Black&Blue/Fish Day fusion

2 Peter 3:13

not finished*

fished out of the garbage and repainted (thankyou mr. weeden. for not letting me throw this away.)

earlier in the year

Roger Dean,

this is not what it really looks like.

old things i found in sketchbooks, belonging to stories and paintings. number two:

holes to china

growing pains

you and I

dream in early spring '08

pity isnt fun for anyone.

--

shell

rabbit trails

I'll find something better to put here,

--

isnt this how everything starts

Biking in the snow
is a dangerous pastime
gripping at my throat
like an ancient pirate
fingers made of ice
caught me by surprise
Im never coming home.

{let the wind carry me home}--